Time

Time seems to be flying lately. I have been feeling the pressure more and more to be able to come up with the money needed for our adoption by this summer. Our dossier is now in China and we are now just waiting for our letter of acceptance. I know we have received some negative response about our decision to take Alaina to China with us as it is added expense. We feel however that this could be very beneficial to Aliyah to have a sibling there. Also this could be something that changes Alaina's life forever. This could make her relationship with God so much more real, so much stronger. I think this might open desires in her to do mission work or possibly to adopt someday herself. I know she wants this though. She has been an avid supporter of us adopting again. She was willing to give up whatever she could to help us. She has been working everyday after school making hats to sell to help raise the money needed for her travel expenses. I know she makes a father's heart melt and swell with pride all at the same time. I am sure the Lord will provide the funding needed and in His perfect timing. I must say that even though the time is flying by I am still struggling with the feeling that it seems like forever before I will be able to hold my little girl. The time will be here before I know it but it is still a struggle. I know He is with me and will continue to see me through the rough roads ahead.

Lucky

Lucky is a word I seem to be hearing quite often. Many people use the word when referring to our son Dane. I know that when they say it they mean well and don't have any clue to the negative or even offensive weight that it carries. The word although it would seem positive to most and a good thing is become something different to me. How does one see luck in being abandoned? Lucky to have been torn from everything you knew and given to someone else? Why are adopted children lucky? Is it that their adoptive parents chose them? Is it that they spent thousands of dollars for them? Is it the love that was given to them? I know most children would rather be with their birth parents then anything else. Lucky would be to never have to know such grieving and heartache. What is lucky about a child having to endure or go through something most adults would never be able to deal with? I keep having these questions circling around in my mind. I pray I will be sensative to both Dane and Aliyah as these will be some very hard truths they will have to deal with and endure their whole lives. I pray they will know that their culture and heritage is very important to me. They have birth parents. They have adoptive parents. Their birth parents hold a very special place in my heart. Going into the adoption process you would have thought differently. I never would have thought that they would occupy my thoughts so much. I constantly wonder how they are doing and what they are like. I would love to be able to see what they look like. When people talk of their biological children so much talk is of who they look like or who they act like. I will most likely never know these things about Dane or Aliyah.

Lucky?

I know the only lucky one in this deal is myself. I have the opportunity of a lifetime to be able to raise these very special children. I will be able to recieve their love and attention. I will get to see them grow and develope. I am a truly blessed man. The Lord has given me a gift. It has come in the package of two very special children.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.  ~ Isaiah  43:5 ~

Worry, Worry, Worry

I wish I could tell you I have been triumphant over my worries. After having been through this process with our adoption of Dane you would think I would be able to rely more on God. I struggle so much turning thing's over to Him. I have been so worried about the huge financial hurdles coming up. We have a long way to go and even though God has been providing I still have been struggling with doubt. I feel so embarrassed admitting this as He proved Himself over and over again. He is always so faithful and yet I have so little. I know He will provide. It is so much easier having that confidence after He has already provided. Having the confidence while waiting on His timing isn't. I know He is always with me and He will always provide. I know He never promised the road would be easy and that He will never give me more than I can handle. I just wish He wasn't always so confident in me, I wish the road was easier. I wish I didn't worry and doubt. I will turn it over to Him....with His help of course. As our journey continues towards Aliyah I pray that I will  trust in Him and that these moments of weakness become fewer. I am so grateful for His grace and His patience and mercy!

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6:33-34~

Why / Try

I have been trying to post for awhile but I type it up only to delete it all and give up. I have so much on my mind and it is weighing on my heart. I have been asked why alot lately. Why do I want to adopt again? Why? I have so many emotions about this question. I love my children, I absolutely hate to see children mistreated and neglected. I see more than I wish I ever had to while at work. Why adopt oversees when there are children right here that need homes? Well to this I say it's a preference. I feel led by God to do international adoption. I will never rule out domestic in my future but for the here and now I feel called for international.  "You know you can't save them all." To that comment my response is: "Can you lead everyone to the Lord?" It isn't about "saving" them. It's like when people say your blessing that child or that you are doing such a good thing for them. I am the one being blessed by that child. I am the one being blessed by God. No it isn't always easy. God never said it would be though.  I have to try, try to be a better everything. Better husband, father, friend, but most importantly a better Christ follower. I am trying, although most day's I fail miserably. I pray that He will help me to become that better version of me.

Why Adopt?

Because they are so worth it!

                                                                           

Even when things seem crazy at times.

                                                                              

And the hurt is so real!

The rewards are so much greater!

                                                     

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~ James 1:27 ~

God's Grace

But He said to me, " My grace is sufficeint for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why,  for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in diffulculties. For when I am weak than I am strong.  ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10~

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012

I have been trying to write this post over and over again. I get it all typed up and then I delete it. I have so much I want to express yet don't know how to say it. 2011 was a year. In this year we had a host of ups and downs. We had our house sold twice just to see our dreams shatter. We had allot of progress made with Dane. We had loss of family and hope for additions as well. Becca and I have prayed for my brother and sister in-law to have a change of heart and at least consider adoption. I couldn't be happier to inform you that they did and now are waiting for their referral! Becca and I were going to move and then once we were settled then consider adopting again. Well where God closes one door He has opened another leading to our precious little girl. I am so thankful for His blessings! To think we would be where we are today is nothing more than an example of His faithfulness! Becca and I are very excited for what 2012 has in store for us! I can honestly say that right now we are closer and more on the same path as we have ever been! We have the same goals and desires. We share a common mission that has brought us closer to each other and even more importantly closer to God! We want to do more, we want to help more. Our prayer now is to feel the support of others. We know not everyone is called to adopt, but we were all commanded to act! God has opened my eyes to what these poor children are going through! I pray you will join us! 2012 is here, our precious Aliyah should be coming home, our niece/nephew may be also. How Great is our God! So welcome 2012 I'm glad to see you!